Dealing With Rejection

Fred Opie (far left) in a Herk vs. Nassau game at Hofstra University 1983  

It’s that time of the year when college coaches are out traveling around the country watching tournaments and checking out prospective players and deciding who they can and should recruit. Soon some players will start receiving email, mail, and phone calls and invitations to visit campuses. Some highly coveted players entering their sophomore and junior years in high school are starting to feel the pressure. Those not   receiving any "love from coaches" are starting to feel low self-esteem.  My story as former scholarship lacrosse player at Syracuse University and U. S. National Team player may surprise you. I did not receive allot of love my junior or senior year. As senior I might have received two letters from Division III coaches  My prospects improved after attending junior college (JUCO) at Herkimer County Community college and playing for now Hall of Fame Coach Paul Wehrum.  I first tearn All American honors my first year at Herkimer but the honor did not help my case much because are team did not advance to the final four teams in the JUCO championships. That was the stage in the game when coaches came to see players like they now do at summer tournaments and thereafter offered opportunities to the players they believed would contribute their programs. Clay Johnson from my hometown played for Maryland and he was my hero. Thus naturally I wanted to play for Maryland one day. The problem was I recruited Maryland harder than they recruited me a guy with little notoriety. University of Maryland coach Dino Mattessich supposedly sent somone to watch me play against Nassau Community College on the island. Nassau was the top rank team in the nation at the time and players from the program regularly earned scholarships to the top lacrosse programs and schools in the country. I played perhaps my best lacrosse ever. However following  the game Maryland continued show little interest no discussion of scholarship money occurred. I sent inquiries’ to the coaches at Carolina and West Point receiving in turn cordial rejection letters. It was during this time I learned the skill of how to spot a rejection letter without opening the envelope. This skill would later serve me well as I tried to get my first books published from 2000 to 2009. Syracuse went on to beat Maryland in the NCAA quarter finals that year in the Career Dome. Coach Dino Mattessich resigned as the Maryland lacrosse coach shortly thereafter and left coaching to become an athletic director. I don’t believe one of my many phone calls to the Maryland lacrosse office ever made it pass the secretaries who screened calls; nor did any of the coaches return my calls. Now that friends and people who I've coach are college coaches, I better understand both the process and just how many contacts they get about prospective players. Most do the best they can returning calls and emails but they are simply understaffed and overworked. Coaches feel terrible when a great player gets overlooked and players feel slighted when coaches show them no love. I certainly learned over the years how to make myself more attractive as I candidate and much of what I learned happened through lacrosse. Perhaps most importantly, I learned how to separate what I do from who I am and the importance of fit when potential employers or publishers say no to me.

My College Recruiting Series: 

 http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=recruiting

http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=College+Lacrosse+Recruiting+Series

Are You A Tweener?

Tweener Fred Opie covering a Umass player in Amherst, Mass in 1985. Umass along with Hobart and Hopkins represented some of the toughest places to an away game. Umass fans provided great support to the Minutemen and sat just a few feet from the field heckling the visiting team the entire game. 

Former Syracuse Lacrosse Player and Tweener Fred Opie

My College, Club, and U. S. National Team Experience: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=%22Tom%22


Hard Work and Lacrosse Stories: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=%22hard+work%22

College Lacrosse Recruiting Series:

 http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=recruiting

http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/2010/09/dealing-with-rejection-as-lacrosse.html

http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=College+Lacrosse+Recruiting+Series

Recruiting, Part 1 of 2

Attackman Fred Opie during a home game at Croton Point field my Senior Year 1981

As part of my ongoing recruiting series I want to talk about the experience I had helping a fantastic sleeper complete a grueling recruiting process for him and his family. As sophomore, seniors at his high school received the lion share of playing time thus he went unnoticed until this past season and a great showing this summer. But by June most of the top scholarship and Ivy League lacrosse programs had verbal commitments for his class and had nothing to offer. So the scramble to find a program who wanted to court him started and I got involved the first week in July. The experience proved stressful for the player and parents largely because going through it the first time there are so many blind spots and unexpected turns and twist. One ends up turning in all different directions talking to coaches and visiting schools on speed dial and having one’s hopes raised and dashed in a 24 hour period. I went to high school with this recruits mom. My high school friend said that at times “I felt like we were all over the place talking to coaches, looking at schools [and] jumping from D1 to D3.”She concluded, “At the end of the day, I think a lot of it comes down to luck.  One coach sees you do one good thing on one good day.” More tomorrow on learning from a recruiting experience.

Recruiting Series:

 http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=recruiting

http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/2010/09/dealing-with-rejection-as-lacrosse.html

http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=College+Lacrosse+Recruiting+Series

Listen to Our Podcasts and More: http://www.fredopie.com/

College Recruiting Advice

1984 Syracuse Team Photo  

1982 Herkimer Team Photo

Below is my response to an e-mail I recently received from a high school player. Like many, he's struggling with trying to get the attention of a Division I college coach in hopes of continuing his playing career after graduating from high school. I share this in hope of helping other student athletes in a similar situation. I changed names to keep people's identities anonymous.

Dear Eric:

Glad you found my YouTube video on college recruiting helpful. My lacrosse blog contains more recruiting suggestions and topics that may serve you well.  You need a credible advocate to lobby for you, someone who know your game, work ethic, and character. You should also consider a Post Grad (PG) year at a prep school that's still looking to fill the few PG slots left and has good lacrosse. Try looking up Deerfield Academy, The Salisbury School, or the Hill School and their opponents. These schools will have great lacrosse and a PG year will give you another year to get seen and maybe recruited. Some prep schools provide financial aid. Perhaps the lax and hoop coaches would be interested in you because of your size—work all angles my friend. It's hard to tell what's a dream vs. what's not realistic, but there is a place and level or everyone play and get a good college education. In my case, I started at Herkimer community college and thereafter I transferred to Syracuse University to continue my studies and lacrosse career. The strategy allowed me to earn a degree worth about $40, 000 at the time for a fraction of that cost. 

Best wishes,

FDO

My College Recruiting Series: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/2010/09/dealing-with-rejection-as-lacrosse.html

The Fred Opie Show Podcast: https://soundcloud.com/thefredopieshow

What To Do If You Don't Get An Athletic Scholarship Offer?

Me on the right covering Yorktown's Rob Hoynes during the Spring of my senior year at Croton Harmon High School. Rob, a great player and person, went on to be an All-American midfielder in high school and at West Point.  

 Related links  below

My College Recruiting Series:

 http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=recruiting

http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/2010/09/dealing-with-rejection-as-lacrosse.html

http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=College+Lacrosse+Recruiting+Series

One Big Reason Why Syracuse Recruited Me

Tim Nelson against Army at West Point, 1985 

Perhaps the person that the Lord used the most to turn the attention of the Syracuse Lacrosse coaching staff was the big 6' 2" 200 pound attackman Tim Nelson (Yorktown High School). Our high schools played against each other back in Westchester in Section 1. We also played together on a Manhasset summer league team in the old Freeport Summer League after my first year in college. As a result of our shared history, Tim (Nellie) knew my game and knew it well. When I went to Herkimer as a virtual unknown player, he went as a highly recruited two-time high school All American who had played in two New York State title games to NC State. In the late 1970s and early 1980s the Wolfpack had a great lacrosse program that included Tim’s older brother Scott. At the end of his first year, State dropped their program and Syracuse offered him a scholarship. In his first season at Syracuse, SU won its first national championship in 1983, Nellie earned first team All American honors and he won the Turnbull Award as the best attackman in the country that year. During that championship season, I visited SU and ran into Nellie. He told me about the teams need for defensemen and then lobbied the coaching staff to recruit me based on what he knew of me as a high school player and my summer league performance. That’s the story of how I became a Syracuse Lacrosse recruit when most other programs and coaches showed no interest. 

The Nelsons of Yorktown Lacrosse: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/2010/09/college-lacrosse-recruiting-series-part_18.html

What's Your Response to Losing A Big Game?

Dan Pratt 36 and Fred Opie 34 in the 1985 NCAA Lacrosse National Championship 

Lacrosse Pioneers in the Hudson Valley: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=+Elliot+Stark

The Nelsons of Yorktown Lacrosse: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/2010/09/college-lacrosse-recruiting-series-part_18.html

Croton and Yorktown Lacrosse: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/2010/01/be-steve-mabus-in-your-lacrosse-world.html

Lacrosse Back in the Day At Croton Point Park: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=Croton+Point

Custom Sticks and Cuse Lacrosse Culture

That's Tim Nelson's 1983 season custom head with a classic Yorktown, most likely little brother Tom strung, Brine Superlight II with wide strong  traditional pocket.

Organized lacrosse head dying sessions using a white plastic head, Rit fabric dye, and downing dozens of hot Buffalo chicken wings in the process represented a part of lacrosse experience in the 1980s. There was definitely an unspoken competition over both who could eat the most wings and who could come up with the most aesthetic multi-colored design with your name, number, and somehow fit it all fit on a small surface. A Syracuse 80% of the team loved traditional pockets. The difference was over the size of the holes. Yorktown guys like big holes maybe 5 and West Genee players always used small holes say 8 or more. The island guys at SU, and we didn’t have a lot in those days, were right in the middle. Upstate players used Brine superlight II; about four of us however used STX. 

I grew up on Army lacrosse and coach Dick Edell. As an attackman in high school I patterned a lot of my game and gear after All American attackmen Frank Giordano (Port Washington, Army), Greg Tarbell (LaFayette, Cobleskill, Syracuse) and Mike O’Neill (Massapequa, Hopkins) In fact I wore # 7 after seeing both Tarbell and O’Neill play at West Point. I purchased a STX Barney with a traditional pocket and the same funky gold shaft that O’Neill used in game I saw at the point. I often wondered how many young players emulated my gear and game as they watched me play.

Yorktown Lacrosse Stories: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/2010/09/college-lacrosse-recruiting-series-part_18.html

Mike O’Neil http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/2012/07/john-hopkins-all-american-attackman.html

Army Lacrosse Stories: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=army

College Lacrosse Recruiting Series: Academics and Affordability First

Me in the 1985 NCAA semi finals championship game covering University of North Carolina’s All American midfielder Steve Martel in the Carrier Dome. 

When it comes to lacrosse and college, my advice is always choose an academic program that is both affordable and will help you develop your non-lacrosse passion. I also suggest a school that is relatively close to home say 4 or less hours from home if you want your folks to see you play and you want to make it home for holidays and special occasions. Then choose a school where there is a need for you at your position earlier rather than in your junior or senior year. Most competitive athletes come apart emotionally and get depressed when they are not playing; that happened to me on more than one occasion during my career. Ask important questions to coaches recruiting you. For example, how deep is a team’s roster is at your position? Remember in the fall of 1983 Syracuse had graduated three starting defensemen, that made SU appealing to me. Finally let me quote Lou Holtz as it is related to the stress one might feel when top coaches are evaluating you as a potential recruit: “You only succumb to stress if your are ill-prepared.” In short, make sure you are prepared physically, emotionally, and most important in my book, spiritually. That is, have your house in order. Success I say is when preparation meets opportunity.

College Lacrosse Recruiting Series Part 2

Photo of me on attack my senior year at Croton Harmon High School in New York. Little know secret is that I was a high school attackman. I also played man down an on occasion close defense. Like Chris Paul, I was not highly recruited early in my career.

Launched a series yesterday on recruiting. I recall watching Charlie Rose interview NBA all-star guard Chris Paul of the New Orleans Hornets. I loved Paul story about his recruiting experience as high school player in North Carolina because it parallels somewhat how I earned a lacrosse scholarship to Syracuse University. Like most North Carolinians, Paul wanted to play for the UNC Tar Heels. However the UNC coaching staff, and few other division 1 coaches, showed no interest in Paul until his senior year. Paul never played on the varsity at his high school until he was a junior and he was very tall (still isn’t) as compared to his peers on the court. Paul said the way he caught the attention of coaches at elite programs like UNC is they turned out to see a highly touted guard and Paul was going up against him. Paul scored a bunch of points on his opponent and shut him down offensively. After the game his stock went up including a scholarship offer from UNC. Paul decided instead to attend Wake Forest. Paul’s story makes me think of how many players give up on their dream and how many coaches end up signing players who are pipe dreams. I am amazed of just how short sighted the recruiting process is today in which coaches are asking for verbal commitments from rising sophomores in high school; please someone stop the madness!

Starting Lacrosse Programs, Mr. Murph's

related links below

Lacrosse Pioneers in the Hudson Valley: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=+Elliot+Stark

The Nelsons of Yorktown Lacrosse: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/2010/09/college-lacrosse-recruiting-series-part_18.html

Croton and Yorktown Lacrosse: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/2010/01/be-steve-mabus-in-your-lacrosse-world.html

Brad Kotz

Brad Kotz and Tim Nelson, a dynamic duo from the class of 1985

You know your good when you have a Wiki page! Brad Kotz aka “Kotzy” has one.  Brad is a West Genesse product who would go on to be a 4 x All-American midfielder at Syracuse, the 1983 college player of the year, and two time National team player in 86 and 90. I roomed with Brad my first semester at SU in the fall of 1983.  We also played together on Maryland Lacrosse Club, and the 1990 US National team.  He had great speed and strength (The guy worked hard in the weight room), and he almost never caused turnovers. Brad had tremendous eye hand coordination; he would joggle a ball on the top of the head of his Brine superlight II; a trick akin to what Tiger Woods does with a golf ball and an iron (Brad, we need you to video tape that for my blog and YouTube channel!). For me, Brad's shooting accuracy represented his greatest attribute. For example, I saw him shoot an amazing 4 for 6 in a World Cup game in Australia when he played virtually on one leg to do a knee injury.  Kotzy played with a pocket no deeper than a women's stick which allowed for his quick release. Players today should learn from him and get rid of all those grapefruit holders! The guy consistently shot hip high opposite the goal’s stick which is the toughest shot in the game to stop. Perhaps most heart warming to me was witnessing Brad's anger and disappointment the year Todd Curry was inducted, that Tim Nelson had not been inducted yet.  

The Nelsons of Yorktown Lacrosse: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/2010/09/college-lacrosse-recruiting-series-part_18.html

Brad Kotz:

http://www.foodasalens.com/2009/10/syracuse-lacrosse-memories-and-eating.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brad_Kotz

http://www.fanbase.com/Bradley-Kotz

http://apps.uslacrosse.org/museum/halloffame/list_by_school.php?school=Syracuse%20University

Tiger Woods Golf Ball Dribbling Commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpHdrpwA9Ag

College Lacrosse Recruiting Series: Part 4 Dealing With The Pressure

That's me with the red gloves on and Herkimer Coach Paul Wehrum Warming up Greg Kaplan at the old Coyne Field before the stadium received a face lift , Syracuse University 1982 

After the recommendation of Tim Nelson, coaches Roy Simmons Jr. and John Desko came to watch me when my junior college, Herkimer County Community College played the Syracuse B team. In those days schools who could afford them had B teams which included their new recruits and walk ons. The structure gave rookies playing time in scrimmages against other B teams and junior colleges in games that would not count against their four years of eligibility. Athletic department budget cuts have done away with most B teams. I remember the game well because we played on Coyne Field on astro-turf at night. That was my first time playing on a synthetic surface. I enjoyed playing on turf because it complemented my game which was based on speed and trick moves in which I would roll, flip, and bounce pass on the turf. I remember covering Frank Lanuto (Sachem) who would later go on to run first midfield as a team at Syracuse with future hall of famers Todd Curry and Brad Kotz (both West Genesee products). Frank was a very strong player who protected his stick extremely well. I apparently held my own defensively against him. More importantly I played my game which was forcing turnovers, getting ground balls, pushing the ball up field, and creating scoring opportunities with my stick skills and field vision as former attackman. I also did not come apart under the pressure of knowing a coach had come to evaluate me.

The Recruiting Process of a Rising Senior Part 2 of 2

Herkimer General Fred Opie Covering Hobart's Rick Vacion in 1983

Here’s part two of the story about helping the son of a high school friend who I describe as rising senior this coming year whose game took off this past spring and summer. The post starts out with his mother describing her take on what one can do to market themselves to a top college program.  She writes, “Obviously, it takes lots of hard work to get the place where that coach will see you do the "good" thing.   There is not a straight path; each student will find his/her own way.  Stay open minded and be willing to entertain all possibilities.” To email responded that its not luck that has opened doors for me. “I work like it's all up to me, because it is, and pray like it's all up to God, because it is.” I went on to say, “a successful person described luck as when hard work meets an opportunity. Another said stress in large part comes from a lack of preparation. It will be much easier should this happen again with your other children.” I sum a successful recruiting experience depends on understanding the process and tapping into networks that can help you along the way. For the best of the best the process can be a quick sprint. But for tweeners like I was back as a high school senior in 1981 and then again as a junior college guy in 1983, its most often a marathon. Also, the process and rules are changing so rapidly that it’s hard to keep up with best practices.

Are You a Tweener: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/2012/06/are-you-tweener.html

My College Recruiting Series: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/2010/09/dealing-with-rejection-as-lacrosse.html

Coach You Have A lot Of Influence: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/2012/06/be-careful-what-you-say-to-people-you.html

My Hard Work and Lacrosse Stories: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=%22hard+work%22

Hobart All American Ed Howard: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=Ed+Howard

Why Not Let Your Passion Pay You?

Team USA Exhibition, Homewood Filed John Hopkins University, Baltimore 1990, That’s Mike Waldvogel to the left, me # 7,  #22 Sal LoCascio (UMass) and Paul Smoller (Cornell), to the right

When I look back over my playing career, I realize that the time and money I invested in lacrosse provides clear evidence that it represented my passion. There are guys who quit playing after college but I could only stay away from the game for a year and its still a part of my life today as a volunteer coach, advocate of the game and tweeners or get overlooked in today's recruiting process, and a blogger.  I always ask my students on the first day of class: what do want to do for a living five years from now? 65% of the undergrads I ask say they don't know. I ask, what is your passion? Where do you spend your time and money when you are relaxing? That’s how you know your passion. I tell people, if it’s legal and moral, why not make it your career? Why not do research papers in my history course on learning more about the history of your passion and career endeavor? I would argue that if you work hard, treat people the way you want to be treated, and stay networked, you can make a living in some shape or form through you passion for lacrosse. 

Like us on Facebook www.facebook.com/FrederickDouglassOpie?ref=hl and Follow us on Twitter https://twitter.com/DrFredDOpie

Are You a Tweener?http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/2012/06/are-you-tweener.html

College Recruiting Series:  http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=recruiting

Listen to Our Podcasts and More: http://www.fredopie.co

The Canadian Connection

Paul and Gary Gait

# 15 Stan Cockerton, far right (and unknown individuals) 

A key to SU's lacrosse success over the years has been the coaching staff's ability to find diamonds in the rough in the most usual places. Certainly the story of how the Hall Fame Gait brothers arrived on campus is an excellent case in point. As the story goes, Coach Simmons received a tip from either a personal friend or Syracuse alum about the Gait brothers. They came from Western Canada which at the time did not have any players of note who had played at any top program or put up the kind of numbers that they did in their career at Syracuse. The Canadians of note that I knew of before the Gaits has been Stan Cockerton at NC State and Dave Huntley at Hopkins in the late 1970s (I would later learn about and play against Canadian Box Hall of Famer and national team player Kevin Alexander). U. S. coaches had not yet become convinced that box players could make the transition to the field game so Canadians went larger overlooked until the Gaits with the exception of Cockerton. How recruiting is done today at the Division I level is quite short sighted in my view because it is gambling on young sophomore and juniors in high school and overlooking seniors, post grads at prep schools, and junior college kid like me. Today Syracuse is one of the few top ranked programs that still makes room on its roster for non-traditional recruits like the Gaits, Native Americans, and junior college players like me. 

Fall Ball Series: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=Fall+Ball

Canadian Lacrosse Legend Kevin Alexander: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_0NBMg_A8o

Stan Cockerton: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-GOrL2Yo9k

The Gait’s Canadian Box Lacrosse Roots: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWd_SS3gQNU

The Gait Brothers: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=paul+gait

How Many Goals Did the Gaits Score Right-Handed?: [Watch 8 min 24 sec] http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/2012/04/how-many-goals-did-gaits-score-right.html

Seeing Something That Others Can't See

Celebrating with Dan Pratt after a goal I scored in the 1985 NCAA Finals which we lost to Hopkins 

I've been talking about fall ball reflecting on my first days on campus at Syracuse University (SU) in 1983. My orientation to SU lacrosse happened organically with a very talented 1983 recruiting class. The class included Neil Alt (Towson, MD) Dan Pratt (Homer, NY) Gordie Mapes (Rush-Henrietta, Rochester), Todd Curry (West Gennee) Pat Donahue (West Gennee), Mike O’Donnell “OD” (Yorktown), Tom Nelson (Yorktown) Matt Holman (Summit, NJ), Mark Brannigan (West Genee, Cobleskill), Chris Bruno (Cobleskill), Matt Cacacciato (Fox Lane, NY, Cobleskill) Rhett Cavanaugh (Fox Lane, NY, Army) and Chris Baduini (Montclair, NJ) Some of us first met at the 83 championship team banquet in the summer following SU's victory over Hopkins. Simmie had us sit together introducing each one to the audience with some brief remarks. Coach made a lofty comment about my ability and that I would be a very special player. The comment put me in an awkward position with the other recruits and championship team members at the event. But early on Simmie saw something in me back then that other coaches didn’t. However what he saw remained hidden until I adapted to a new system and level of play and that’s exactly the role of fall ball for a new recruit. It gives you time to adjust to bigger and faster players who are better than what most players see in high school or in my case junior college.

Fall Ball Series: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=Fall+Ball

My Syracuse Teammates: http://lacrossememoir.blogspot.com/search?q=%22Tom%22